Intimacy From the Inside Out©Tony Herbine Blank

Integrating the Interpersonal and the Intrapsychic in Couples Therapy

Intimacy from the Inside Out© is a model of couples therapy that draws primarily from the Internal Family Systems (IFS) model of psychotherapy, but also includes aspects of psychodynamic theory, systems thinking and neuroscience. It is an experiential model born out of a desire to carry the concepts of IFS into a relational setting and to use the intimate relationship itself as a vehicle for growth and healing of the individual, as well as the couple.

This work assumes that each of us has access to an inward spiritual presence that supports the notion that human beings are resilient and have inner resources of self -love and self-regulation. It is a non-pathologising approach that helps people make sense of their life experience in a safe and collaborative way.

In IFIO therapy, each member of the couple is invited into a process which leads to a self-compassionate and secure relationship with him or herself. This then makes it possible to stay connected with oneself and one’s partner even in times of stress and relational rupture. The application of the model moves between fostering internal attachment work and doing relational work between partners.

Inviting the exploration of each partner’s individual’s inner life supports couples in envisioning a lively dance that includes: Communicating well; Repairing inevitable rupture; Making room for the needs of both individuals, as well as the relationship; and Exploring authentic heartfelt connection.